In my reading lately, I’ve come across a few Middle East jokes that I thought I would share:
In Egypt, President Gamal Abdel Nasser wanted a vice president dumber than himself, so he chose Anwar Sadat. After Nasser died, Sadat, too, wanted a vice president dumber than himself, so he picked Hosni Mubarak. When Sadat was killed, Mubarak tried to find a vice president dumber than himself. Egypt is still waiting…
(This Egyptian joke from the 1980s and ‘90s is funny because the position of vice president went unfilled under Mubarak for 30 years. It seems that President Sisi doesn’t have a vice president now, either.)
A Palestinian dies. He goes up to the gate of Heaven, where the angel guarding the gate consults his book. The angel tells the man his name isn’t in the book. When the angel checks the book for Hell, though, he finds the Palestinian’s name isn’t there, either. Perplexed, the angel thinks for a minute. Then he looks up and says, “Oh wait, you’re Palestinian? Go wait in that camp over there.”
(Palestinian dark humor.)
Reasons we know the September 11 terrorists weren’t Lebanese:
1. 6:45 is too early for most Lebanese to get up.
2. Lebanese are always late; they would’ve missed all four flights.
3. The free food and drinks and the female flight attendants on the planes would have distracted them.
4. The suspects’ car found outside of Boston Airport would be a sports car with chrome wheels, not a Ford.
5. They would never have agreed on who would fly the plane.
6. Eighteen Lebanese can’t even organize a simple lunch together! And you think they can organize such an attack?
7. Most importantly, months before doing it, they would have already told everyone about it.